The Goose is Getting Fat

There is an old rhyme lodged in my brain which begins

"Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat "

I am that goose ( thats not part of the rhyme - thats me trying an analogy about ..never mind ..) What I'm saying is that my last pair of trousers which fitted me properly have become exceedingly tight over the last couple of weeks

What makes this so drama filled for me is that the trousers which are tight are a UK size fourteen ( and when I say tight I don't mean pinching a bit , I mean the full on bursting out of the seems extravaganza )

That technically means I need to diet right now before Christmas or go out and buy some size sixteen trousers for the first time.

I really really don't want to buy a size sixteen .

Buying the next size up is like admitting defeat and then you get all cosy having trousers that fit and expand into them and NO NO NO it's not happening. It'll be the whole " I'll just buy these size fourteens for now until I diet back into my size 12's " saga of 2009 all over again

Come to think of it I haven't been a size 12 in two years . Thats what happens when you buy the next size up.

I should mention here that even though the UK average size is 14 then the key difference between some people and me is I'm short. I'm 5 ft 1 . A size 14 on a normal height person is maybe in the carrying a few extra pounds category. A size 14 on someone short is fairly much dumpy barrel shaped. Bad news indeed.

So I'm darn well going to sit trouser less in my house until I can shoehorn the size fourteens back on. Thats a lie - I have some vile elasticated jogging bottoms which I shall wear like a hair shirt to do my daily 30 minute walk. And yes - I'm still doing my half hour walk all day so how the dickens have I managed to increase in size - HOW !!!!!! ( late night snacking and a trip to the chocolate factory with my daughter last week - thats how darnit )

Think of me sitting in my elasticated pantaloons chewing celery and sipping water while you all get into the festive swing of things won't you ?