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Thursday 15 March 2012

It doesn't have to last forever

I haven't been updating because there hasn't been much to update about. Thats a good thing when the blog is about anxiety :-)

I've been just fine . I'm losing weight , I'm eating well , I'm still walking each day ( well most days) and I'm still taking my vitamins and I think the shock of the panic and anxiety has left me so it isn't kicking off the symptoms all the time now -

I get the odd random "hideously nervous for no reason "moment , now and then a " I can't breathe properly " moment and occassionally a " my thoughts are spinning - what if I'm going crazy" session but they don't bother me like they used to so the feeling doesn't spiral into a panic attack or anxiety attack.Well not a full on  , all singing , all dancing one anyway

In short things are much improved

An example : I was driving to meet Mr Kay last week and I was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach out of nowhere. Now Mr Kay is nice and given I've lived with him for 7 years then we can safely assume I wasn't nervous about meeting him. This gave way to some random thoughts about having to pull the car over incase I had a panic attack but I just pressed on , stopped and did the shopping I needed to do and carried on to meet him and it was all over in a few minutes

I'm no closer to figuring out what kicks off these mad moments but I'm learning if I just take a " pah ignore it til it does away " attitude then the moments don't snowball like before when they happened every bloody hour or so

I had another moment last week where I was in the supermarket with MK and little girl and I felt all disorientated and panicky and I just carried on ( albeit while snapping at them to hurry the feck up ) and felt okay again within half an hour. I'm sure those big bright neon supermarket lights send me funny . However the point is that even if they trigger off a panicy memory and therefore panicky feelings then the solution is not to avoid the supermarket but to go more often

Thats not very interesting is it !!! I felt compelled to write something today though so there it is