Online CBT

I've just looked at my notes from some online Cognital behavioural Therapy I did a year ago when I started to take steps to overcome the anxiety and panic which had hit me.By coincidence the notes were from almost exactly a year ago minus a couple of days

I just want to go back and give myself the biggest hug. I'm obviously so lost and confused and frightened about what was happening to me :-(

There were some notes I made after a panic attack while I was in the house with OH and daughter ( then aged 5) one weekend afternoon and its just so sad to read how my main concern was to try and hide it from them so I didn't upset my little girl and how I was worried that I wouldn't be able to cope with doing day to day basics if this was going to keep happening

It shows that once you realise that once you managed to get over the fear of the actual panic and anxiety feelings then life just feels managable again

I actually had some low level panicky feelings while driving with OH to pick up stepson yesterday and instead of it being an issue then I was just mildly irrated with the hyperventilation feeling and made an effort to chat away and I forgot about it within a couple of minutes

Although I'm a bit sad about how much I struggled when I read back then I also can see now just how far I've come and how its made me take a good look at my life and make sure that I'm trying to do things which enrich my future rather than just floating along and taking whatever is thrown at me with a feeling of bewilderment

I'm definately going to redo the course over the next couple of weeks when I get some downtime . I only got halfway through last time so it should be an eye opener to see what is in the second part.

If anyone ever reads this who is back where I was then I promise you the key to starting to get better is realising that it wont hurt you however uncomfortable it feels at the time. Once you stop avoiding situations just incase you panic then you stop worrying about panicing and bit by bit then the panics power fades

I'm really finding blogging therapeuatic at the moment - and it great to see so many other people writting interesting posts in their blogger. I cant go to sleep at night now without checking out the updated blogs on my list