Lists , lists as long as your arm

I've always been a list maker ever since I was little.

My favourite part of any activity which requires organisation is sitting and writing down the lists of what needs to be done and when and planning everything. Not so keen on the actual doing a lot of the time which is a bit of a draw back to the whole plan succeeding

I've increasingly found over the last year that when I have a list of things to do then I get in a right tizzy and a panic from the very start. Even a very simple list can make my head spin.
I started to notice that whenever I had things to do on a deadline , even if they were simple tasks then I would start to feel weak and shaky. At one point then I would start to shake when I sat infront on my laptop and hyperventilate slightly

Seriously irritating . Having said all that then I've still managed to event manage all the events over the last year which I've needed to do to keep my business going so it goes to prove I can still do it shaking like a leaf inside so I just need to keep going and all will come good

I've stopped writing crazy long lists each day as it just makes me feel bad when I don't tick everything off and this last week I've had my main list with everything under the sun on it which is full of less important things and then I have a small daily list with the absolute to do-s on it and that seems to be working better for me on the calmness front. I've also been putting one thing on the list thats not work like catching up with a TV series or reading. Oddly enough having a relaxation item on my to do list helps

I'm still a work in progress but at least theres progress overall