My anxiety history ( part three )

By the start of this year (2011) I somehow managed three months where the anxiety and panic faded slightly which was more luck than design

In April I had an ear infection which made me feel like I was walking on a slanted floor and everything restarted. I also started taking Saint Johns Wort in a bigger dose which I also think made my anxiety worse. I say **think** because anxiety doesn't seem to have much method to its madness

I tried many things to make improvements such as mindfulness mediatation , guided meditation , lavender baths ,epsom salt baths , a multivitamin , Vit B12 , Magnesium , CBT online (free via a UK based site called Live life to the full ) , exposure to the situations that were making me panic , reducing caffeine and Claire weekes books to name but a few .

In the summer this year I finally reached the point where I realised that what I was actually scared most of was feeling scared , anxious and panicky
That might seem obvious to anyone who has never had anxiety and panic attacks but believe me from inside the situation then those feelings are so very intense and real that its so hard to step outside yourself and see beyond the racing mind , thumping heart , shakiness , wooziness and the tenseness of waiting for these feeling to happen at any moment , in any situation

Once I realised that I was more frightened of the feelings of anxiety , feeling like I couldn't breathe , feeling shaky , feeling confused and tense and that when these things happened they were indeed horrible but werent going to kill me..... then that was finally when I managed to start making progress with anxiety

to be continued