Afternoon drinking

I've felt uncomfortable while drinking a fair bit recently and I was looking at it from the point of view that I had become over sensitised to the evils of alcohol due to all my panic and anxiety of the last year and all the thought and action I have put in to moderating my drinking

Reading around some recovery blogs and starting to properly look at my own anxiety has meant that I feel like the fog is lifting slightly.

Even though my alcohol units are at a level I am happy with for the week then I'm not sure I'm comfortable with "how" I'm drinking. I drink in the afternoon. I sit sipping away at three , four or five vodkas while I plough through the paperwork or housework. Drinking in the afternoon isn't the end of the world , it isn't a cardinal sin and probably isn't going to make me start drinking like before as that was self medication and I just dont feel that urge anymore

The point is that while getting slightly tipsy in the afternoon and relaxing once in a while is no big deal and can be enjoyable ... well Im not really doing it once in a while. I'm doing it maybe four weekdays out of five. I'm not drunk but I do get buzzed.

I think Im doing it because I have memories of really enjoying doing it once in a while as a treat. When I have some dull work to do then I rustle up memories of vodka taking the dull edge of things and decide to "treat" myself.  Something in me knows that I'm doing it too often for it to be a treat and so the alcohol doesn't always work its magic like it think it will. I feel tense , or uncomfortable , perhaps slightly anxious and feel like I'm having to watch myself like a hawk to make sure I'm not getting tipsy. Its just not that much fun when I it becomes part of my routine most afternoons .Beit two drinks or five drinks , its just not got the same buzz about it when you do it too often.


How often is too often and whether I should be doing it at all are not the topics on my list on the moment.

I'm not saying that I'm not going to drink at all .

All  I'm saying to myself at the moment is that I'm not going to sit in the house on my own in the afternoon working and drinking habitually most weekdays.

I have no idea if this is going to mean I start fancying alcohol on an evening or whether this is going to be a big struggle or easy as pie or even turn out to have no impact on my uneasiness about alcohol.  All I know is that it feels like the right thing to do at the moment.